Category: self improvement (page 1 of 2)

Finding Myself

Finding oneself seems to imply we are lost  or at least not discovered. But we’re right here, impossibly hidden from our own existence.

My eyes scan my landscape less when I’m tired, distracted, or numbed. I search for myself least when I’m busy, chasing down checkboxes.

The world was spinning so quickly I had to ask it to stop. It obliged, begrudgingly.

Today I felt spaciousness in the space between seconds. I strolled through the corridors of my mind and looked through windows of who I could become.

Feeling found seems much like feeling full, full of knowing, feeling, and being all at once.

 

My First Go @ Cooperative Conscious Community

Since 2013 I have been trying to live in a co-op and in 2020 my dream FINALLY came true. While I’ve already been a part of a few conscious communities, actually living in a codependent community is a completely different experience and one I would highly recommend – here’s why:

Why live with six other people?

When I decided to officially move into the co-op the world felt like utter chaos. Think back to June 2020 when Black Lives Matter protests had just broken out across the country and COVID lockdown continued to drag on. I was hoping to find a community of folks, ideally older, who could help process the current events… Little did I know we still had an impending hellish fire season in California that September and an extremely stressful election that would end in an attempted coup.  I was so relieved when the community I found often discussed these issues, and we even took action together! Having a sounding board of peers with which to discuss current events over dinner kept me grounded in the moment, finding a sanity together amid the madness.

I was also excited to make new friends! I luckily ended up loving my housemates… even more after getting to know their quirks like how Blanchard is a caricature of himself who eats three bites of vanilla ice cream every night and how CN wears blankets as dresses while spouting profound inclusivity. While moving in with strangers is a strange way to make friends, it was an extremely effective way to get to know people really well.

The Hearth

The name of the co-op is The Hearth aka The Coaching House and it definitely lived up to the name of warmth and personal development. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned from this community:

CULTURE can be formed even amid a small group and can have a profound effect on your life.  As the coaches say, it can be the “water you’re swimming in” or the context you have to acknowledge, even if you don’t fully understand it. The culture of the Hearth is present, inquisitive, and caring. These characteristics have seeped into my being due to my experience here.

RITUALS are the underpinnings of a culture, the ways we put our ideals into practice. It seems like such a simple concept, but I didn’t fully appreciate rituals until practicing them with a group of committed people. For example, we had the ritual of eating dinner at 7pm together every evening which kept us connected and nourished. What rituals do you practice that help you embody your ideals?

SUPPORT can mean SO many things. I had not realized the water I was swimming in with the American ideal of “making it on your own”. The Hearth completely dismantled this structure of knowing whereby people asked for support from some of the bigger (like selling a car) to even the smaller (like making Spotify work well) life tasks. I had previously thought “you just get those things done yourself!” but the process of helping others opened up a new vulnerability for me to ask for support on random things. I would have never expected depending on others to feel so liberating.

CHORES are something everyone asks about regarding group living. They are a pain with a large group, obviously, but for me the philosophy that we are “hosting each other” was a really sweet way of thinking about it. So when I clean, I consider it “cleaning up for my guests” who are actually my housemates.

ABUNDANCE is aplenty from groceries to furniture to a lending hand. We have so much more when we live together, and while we give a little more we are rewarded with abundant appreciation in return as well, completing the cycle of abundance.

Update from 2022

I help co-create my own co-op with four friends! We enjoy a rich community and friend group, in part due to our stated shared purpose:
~ House Vision~
This house exists to enhance our personal and collective journeys with a diversity of experiences, communities, thoughts and actions.

~Guiding Vibes~

  • Chill but hype
  • We are on a vision quest, a journey together and welcome new experiences and people
  • We explore the new new, occasionally pushing ourselves and each other to the edge of our comfort zones
  • We create together
  • We include each other, but realize not everyone can do/ go to everything
  • We support each other to grow and make our individual growth happen
  • We aim to be our best selves and hold each other accountable in each other’s pursuit
  • We respect solo/recharge time
  • A lot of great things happens outside
  • We prioritize our relationships over arguments, knowing we enrich each other’s lives in many ways
  • We recognize we have abundance together
  • We savor it

-JB’s Yung Padawan

House Vision

Our cooperative housing group created a house vision. Here’s what our community identified as our reason for existing and desires for our community.

This house exists to enhance our personal and collective journeys with a diversity of experiences, communities, thoughts and actions.

~Guiding Vibes~

  • Chill but hype

  • We are on a vision quest, a journey together and welcome new experiences and people

  • We explore the new new, occasionally pushing ourselves and each other to the edge of our comfort zones

  • We create together

  • We include each other, but realize not everyone can do/ go to everything

  • We support each other to grow and make our individual growth happen

  • We aim to be our best selves and hold each other accountable in each other’s pursuit

  • We respect solo/recharge time

  • A lot of great things happens outside

  • We prioritize our relationships over arguments, knowing we enrich each other’s lives in many ways

  • We recognize we have abundance together

  • We savor it

What are the chances?

Literally what are the chances we are who we are?

Here’s an attempt at calculating my existence, privilege and choices to contextualize being one tiny person on this massive planet, and specifically what it means to be me.

Existence

  • To start off, it’s been said the chances that we are born into existence is 1 in 400 trillion
  • Americans are 4.27% of the world population
    • Californians make up 12% of the US population (or 0.51% of the world population)

Privilege

“Choices”

Takeaways

This isn’t to say I’m super special, especially because I only really “chose” two of the statistics (which are also likely correlated if not caused by a specific type of education). Moreover, these calculations further instilled the imperative I feel to use my advantages to benefit the world, aka the majority of people on the flip-side of all of these statistics. I plan to be more grateful to live in the beautiful state of California. I am also going to donate more money to global causes and use my education to solve global issues. I also vow to fly less and continue to purchase vegan products so that they may become more accessible.

Life’s a H*ke

Earlier today I went on a long hike by myself in Walnut Creek (Shell Ridge: Twin Ponds Loop  — highly recommend).

Left alone with my thoughts and sounds of nature I realized our life trajectories are very similar to the experience of a hike…

  • Childhood) Who suggested this hike? Why do we have to do it? The car ride there is cozy with calming music.
  • Teen years) You get out of the car still feeling lazy and see the first huge hill. It looks insurmountable and you have to psyche yourself up.
  • Twenties) You’ve made it up the first hill and now you can see the long winding trail ahead. It’s a little exciting and you are catching your breath but you don’t have a map and the terrain is still unfamiliar. You made it out of the bubble of your previous life and are ready to explore by yourself. You are high above the power lines now, the view is gorgeous and inspiring. You feel on top of the world. You’re more scared how you don’t see any bees than you are scared of a bee sting.
  • Thirties-Fifties) You are now in the swing of walking such that your legs keep moving without conscious effort. Your knees hurt but you’re cruizing on the path and it’s nice and sunny out. You hear a rare frog chorus but you’re also bummed you can’t listen to music on this long trek, win some lose some I guess.
  • Sixties-Eighties) You finally see the woodpecker you knew you heard earlier! Now your blisters actually hurt and that last leg of the trail was supposed to be .4 miles but is taking forever… you think back and wonder if you made a wrong turn. You made a little one, but it was inconsequential. Your phone is dying but your powering through so that you can text your partner that you finished safely and still have juice to navigate to the freeway entrance.
  • Eighties-Nineties) You made it back to your car with 2% phone battery to spare! You barely even feel like you hiked, it more just washed over you. You’re sitting in your cozy seat again headed home to reflect on your pictures, chill, and have a sweet night’s rest.

Life’s a h*ke n then you die so let’s not forget to scope those views proper.

<3 Nan

How To Be an Environmental Activist (or anything else you want to be)

This isn’t your normal How To Guide. I recently realized the exact same reasons I became vegan can apply to other big life decisions/ changes. So today I wanted to break it down again, using the same framework of ability (psychological, economic, and physical) – but this time applied to how to become an environmental activist professionally… or anything else you want to be.

Why  – Psychological Ability

     Denial

The first hurdle is denial. My brother George had a funny point that “No one knows what they are in denial about”.  So denial is a tricky thing. Many articles have come out stating that the new denial is not that climate change isn’t happening, it’s thinking what we’re doing is enough.

So how do you address what you’re avoiding and/or semi-intentional ignorance? Information in the age of information! I’m a practiced and published researcher and I took two months researching the most impactful job you can do… and it was environmental work across the board. The information is so abundant, compelling and moving you may just be inspired to work on climate solutions as well. Here are some sites worth bookmarking:

     Attribution

OK so maybe you aren’t in denial and you agree we need to do more BUT you attribute blame to larger organizations. To which I say, the entire system needs solutions and we need to be part of the solution at every level.

Governmental – Some people say this is the ONLY way. I don’t agree, but if you think governmental solutions and regulations are the most important why not try to professionally influence them? You don’t have to just be a lawyer; there are a ton of ways to do it. Otherwise, you can vote for green candidates, and be civically active.

Technology and other Eco-Friendly Options – again, tons of jobs in this! Some may say these will be the only jobs one day (especially with automation). Green technology, energy, food alternatives, transportation, city planning, ocean clean-up and more. You are skilled, and your skills would be highly valuable in AT LEAST one of these types of solutions.

Consumerism and Personal Choices – I’ve started to feel like people aren’t going to change unless the options don’t affect their lifestyle and moreover improve it (ex: fake meat has to be delicious, electric cars also have to be luxurious, etc.) so that is why CREATING the options is even more important than adopting them, because once we create our ideal society, adoption will naturally follow.

Volunteering – isn’t drastic enough frankly. This is an all-smart-hands-on-deck situation.

     My American Dream

Finally, similar to denial, we don’t want to accept that the baby-boomer notion of the American Dream is fucked. Yours, mine, and for generations to come. What good is a mansion that burns down or gets flooded? Sure maybe you can secure a nice little spot for yourself where you have a huge water supply, but how fun will that be when you don’t have a community to enjoy or even any animals around?

Think about this though: This upcoming March, 2019 KIDS are walking out of school for “Day Zero” to protest climate inaction by adults. They know their future is being robbed, and we too aren’t going to die before we see some pretty horrible shit.

Fortunately it is not too late to turn this around, and we can still have an American Dream, albeit different and more synchronous with the environment and arguably with each other, if we only dare to dream it and do it.

How  – Economic Ability

This is the most obvious hurdle to switching jobs. While some companies may have excellent promotional practices, it is widely acknowledged that the highest pay raises occur when you switch companies. One main reason is because your current employer will not give you a 20K raise, whereas you may get a new job offer that starts 20K higher.

Ok so we know it makes sense, but how do you do it? Two ways:

  1. Invest in yourself. Investments can be risky, but if you don’t know your value, others won’t either.
  2. Treat unemployment like a job. Apply to jobs rigorously and take time off. Spend 40 hours a week minimum if you are unemployed. Clock in if you need to (there are tons of timer apps – my favorite is Toggl).

When  – Physical Ability

When should we pursue such jobs? ASAP. Why? The IPCC gave us 12 years – generously. What if we were given a 12-year ticker to an atomic bomb? People would be freaking out. And climate change is worse, irreversible, and “bombing” the entire world simultaneously.

In Sum

All of the other reasons to do it will also follow as benefits. The ones I listed for veganism (that oddly apply here) are:

  • Sustainability – For your personal sustainability – the job market will go to shit with climate chaos anyway. Planet and human species sustainability would also be nice.
  • Animals (Unnecessary Suffering) – you will be working to PREEMTIVELY combat what is already becoming THE LARGEST contributor to human suffering (think: war, food production issues/famine, vector-borne diseases, water-borne diseases, heat-related illnesses, and more. I’m not exaggerating, look. it. up.)
  • Net sum (Positive) – you get to wake up every day feeling happy about what you do (yay)! We Americans are huge emmissions creators, so might as well mitigate your own carbon footprint at the very least.
  • Health – the health effects from inhaling fine particulates (from fires) alone are: lung cancer, stroke, dementia, type two diabetes, and heart disease.
  • Independence – you know you can get any job you want, and you choose to make a difference. You are not beholden to money as the primary motivator. Why else would you work your shitty corporate job with coworkers who lack empathy in an industry that exploits Earth’s resources and workers along the production line? It doesn’t have to be that way.

As always, I’m happy to read cover letters and help you get dat new new enviro job.

out

 

 

-Nanarchy

20-Something in 2018

Here are the goals of a 20-something, yours truly, in 2018:

– Updates from 2019 in bold – Yes did it! (Y), Kinda (K), Not even close (N)

  1. Read 60 books (the CEO annual average) – (K) I think I got through about half, but hey still the most I’ve ever read for fun in one year
  2. Meditate daily / complete a multiple-hour meditation session – (N) but I aim to meditate every even day of 2019 and am on track as of today, 1/2/19.
  3. Create more content / move from early adopter to innovator – (K) helpful that my job does this, but I would like to be more creative just for fun.
  4. Take the GRE – (N) not even sure why I want to do it yet, working not to get caught in a rat race for no reason .
  5. Test every sense in a new way / try to discover my spidey-sense – (Y) I felt the softest beat leaf, rode roller skates on buttery sidewalk, tasted very different dank Chinese food in China, harnessed wind while kiteboarding, saw amazing visuals and movies, listened to more house music than ever before, and smelled chocolate surrounding my essence. Spidey sense may be predicting what will happen in movies?
  6.  Run a race / Break a personal physical record – (Y!) Yosemite half marathon biotch 2hr4min.
  7.  Vote vegan with my dollar – (Y) While this wasn’t my MOST vegan year, it was likely more than 90% of what I ate and 99% of what I bought.
  8. Reverse psych someone into a positive mindset – (Y/N) I get volunteers excited about my non-profit work all of the time, but was very sad to fail when it came to my employee this year.
  9. Make a new bff – (Y!) Hannah, Rachel, Lindsay, Autumn, Lizzy, Angelina (always friends but consider them more besties now), Sara Whitney (brand spankin new), Michele and Savannah (bestie neighbors rock), Lastly new festie fam: Lauren, Stephen, Dmac, Olivia, Emily, Maude <3
  10. Admit when I don’t know things (and learn more in the process) – (Meh) Still working on this one, succeeding a little.
  11. Read mixed media / try to understand other viewpoints better – (Y) Just started reading Knowhere News, thanks Miles!
  12. Foster a skill (maybe swimming) – (Y) I did Lyra, swam, took Chinese classes, and took ukulele classes. 2019 I’d like to hone in a little better.
  13. Be more genuine (not just nice) – (K)
  14. Ride my bike – (Y) But then everyone fucking copied my lime green helmet, you know which one I’m talking about..
  15. Ask thoughtful questions / eliminate filler words – (K) My brother suggested looking up interview questions, definitely going to do that.
  16. Text ppl back within 2 days – (K) Been a lot better than usual. Kristina said “Friendship is half about the effort you put in” and that really stuck with me.
  17. Throw an epic parT – (Y!!) My 25th bday happening in parT minus 3 days.
  18. Use social media less – (N) At least it’s trackable on the iPhone now.
  19. Cook dinner with friends more – (Y) Never done so much Friendsgiving. Heart is still full and so is my stomach two months later.
  20. Go on a romantic trip with Dasun– (Y!) Maui babii

I would have never thought I would complete so many! Highly recommend writing your list down and be a self-fulfilling prophecy. : )

 

Here are the goals of a 20-something, yours truly, in 2019:

  1. Read 60 books
  2. Meditate every even day/ Actively reduce stress
  3. Delete Facebook garrrr
  4. Do handstands on poles
  5. Foster a skill fo real – pick one and stick with it
  6. Be creative AF
  7. Read more mixed media and practice talking to people with different views
  8. Save mo $
  9. Sit with good posture

More Than Capitalist Fulfillment

The other day I was thinking: what would make me feel fulfilled? I considered a few hobbies I could pick up, did a random craft, requested new books from the library, watched a TED talk and called it a night. In my search for fulfillment I took actions, but only recently evaluated their roles in reaching a more realized state…

  • The definition of fulfilled is “satisfied or happy because of fully developing one’s abilities or character”
  • Maslow defines self-actualization as “the desire for self-fulfillment”

I posit that our conception of fulfillment, which we intend to mean filling a need of the highest order (self-actualization), is tainted with capitalist notions in a few ways.

  1. We incorrectly conceive our internal happiness with ourselves as a state within our consumer system, as opposed to happiness from within ourselves. This change in framing turns the dialogue inwards and makes it evidently more clear that no product can complete your soul search.
  2. The idea that fulfillment must constantly be sought is a myth. In my experience, once I feel fulfilled it has a lingering aura. We don’t need to immediately begin searching for the next source of fulfillment… unlike the capitalist system ever begging for more. Being happy with our progress is a critical moment of processing – one that I often forget.
  3. Fulfilling activities don’t necessarily contribute to financial wealth. I’m the type of person to fall into this trap too often. I enjoy being busy and doing things with “purpose” – such as for a job. However, investing in activities that don’t serve a tangible purpose (reading fiction, playing outside) are still valuable – just for non-monetized abilities and character traits.

The fat joke is that fulfillment doesn’t come from consumption nor does it need to be constantly consumed.

I don’t just want to feel satiated and placated – a capitalist fulfillment. I want to happy about the development of my character, which may require less of a happy mood and more of a critical eye and accepting heart.

-Nanarchy

Context for Change

A bit heavy but hopefully inspirational, I wanted to share my thoughts, some statistics and research on the context that created my desire to work for long-lasting change professionally.

Most of my life…

  • The US launched and continues to be involved in the war in Afghanistan (17 yrs,  at least 31,000 civilian deaths).
  • Climate change has been a known and discussed issue (Inconvenient Truth, 2006 – but the gov knew in the 70’s) yet the statistics on the NASA website today were:

  • Income inequality and wealth disparity consistently widens (CBPP).

  • Childhood obesity in the US continues to grow (13.7 million children/adolescents in 2016) and diabetes too:

  • Human trafficking is estimated to have risen 35.7% IN THE US from 2015-2016 (Polaris, the human trafficking hotline).

And many more equally important maladies that have not been properly addressed by previous generations.

Out of Office

Here’s a general breakdown of the main activities that take up a day (assuming you don’t overwork, commute less than average, and sleep well):

I think it’s fair to say that most of us identify “ourselves” as who we are in our personal lives aka free time. Work is full of bureacracy, corporate ladders, non-personal clothing, and is a dehumanizing process of selling our labor for wages.  But when we spend just under a fourth of our time at work (and nearly a third of our waking hours), I don’t think we can necessarily write it off as “not who we really are”.  For me, this was the biggest reason for reconciling my personal beliefs with my career. ^

It’s also exhausting to spend our limited “free” time volunteering, organizing, being politically active, etc. Appealing to the lazier psyche and selfish altruism, working toward a just cause professionally allows you to relax more after work (and still be more of an activist than you would be if you attended every rally).

Why tho? Pleasure vs. Happiness

There are many social psych experiments that have studied the effects of exposing participants to money-related words/topics/objects (money priming) versus control groups (given random non-money-related stimuli) which then measured the differences in people’s behavior. One recent study published in a highly respected journal found that when people are primed with money, they feel less connectedness and act less prosocially. Another recent study concluded that money priming also causes people to be less: interpersonally attuned, caring, warm, and interdependent.

In addition to connection, I want to feel satiated – something that the ever-wanting, ever-purchasing capitalist dream inherently cannot provide (and some say detracts from). I still enjoy commodities, #notamonkyet, but I can attest that distancing my happiness from capital allows my happiness to raise higher than my next raise ever will.

This all culminates in the ultimate goal of seeking happiness, not just pleasure. In his best-selling book, The Hacking of the American Mind, Dr. Robert Lustig explains the 7 main differences between happiness and pleasure from the perspective of a neuroendocrinologist:

  1. Pleasure is short-lived; happiness is long-lived.
  2. Pleasure is visceral; happiness is ethereal (felt above the neck).
  3. Pleasure is taking; happiness is giving.
  4. Pleasure can be achieved with substances; happiness cannot be achieved with substances.
  5. Pleasure is experienced alone; happiness is experienced in social groups.
  6. The extremes of pleasure all lead to addiction, whether they be substances or behaviors (social media use, pornography, gambling). Yet there’s no such thing as being addicted to too much happiness.
  7. Finally and most importantly, pleasure is tied to dopamine (the pleasure biochemical/neurotransmitter), and happiness is tied to serotonin (the happiness biochemical/neurotransmitter).

Takeaway: “excess dopamine can lead to addiction, which erodes both present and future happiness. In simple neuroscience terms, dopamine downregulates serotonin. The result, states Lustig, is that ‘the more pleasure we seek, the more unhappy we get.'”

How even?

This is not to say that if you are a professional athlete you need to quit your job and pursue a social justice desk job; Colin Kaepernick has shown us there are ways to do both – live your fullest life while also fighting for others to do the same. So whatever your niche, work toward refining those skills. Gain knowledge, credibility and influence to help redefine your field toward mission-driven solutions. If the main barrier to pursuing idealist work is a pay cut, consider Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, and assess whether you are able to self-actualize yet.

Change the system and/or Change your job –> Change lives / Maximize your effect on Earth –> Live your fullest life / Live forever through your accomplishments and those that remember you

-Nanarchy

Helpful websites: Idealist.org and 80,000 hours

Where does it come from? Where is it going?

People always seem perplexed by the questions: Where do I come from? Where am I going? But we rarely ask these questions about the products we use every day. You’re in luck though, because I aim to answer these questions for you right now!

Where does it come from? – Labor and materials.

I always think of the story about GAP using child labor to produce children’s clothing… So the best way to be sure that the products you use don’t harm others is to buy reused, upcycled, local and vegan. I know this is a tall demand, but it’s all about doing what is most feasibly possible for you (economically, socially, physically, mentally – see my Why Vegan post for more on this). Fortunately for clothing in particular, resale is often cheaper and you can sell your old clothes at the same time.

Many of our belongings harm us too. I recently went to a “Rethink Plastic” talk where researchers explained how plastic producers are able to switch out harmful chemicals faster than we are able to find out how harmful they are. We all know BPA is terrible… but there are tons of other chemicals that are apparently just as bad, yikes! Again, the best choice is to steer clear. Here’s a slide from Child Health and Devolpment Sudies‘ talk about ways to reduce our harmful exposure to plastics:

Pro tip – If you want to do a full cleanse, psyllium husk binds to many toxins in your body and helps get them out. You can get it in the bulk section of some grocery stores. Take a serving with water and go in a sauna.

Where is it going? – “There is no away.

I recently met Heather, the founder of thereisnoaway.net, and love her message that our belongings don’t disappear when we throw them away, thus we should substitute our single-use throwaway items with recyclable ones.

I could go into our historical process of shipping our trash back to the countries that made the items and give more info about the sludge in our recycling bins, but it’s more important to know where to put what. Here are some sites for my Bay Area friends:

One Tier Better – Zero Waste

Even recycling uses energy and oil… so the best policy is to go zero waste. This sounded daunting to me too at first, and I am still chipping away at my wasteful habit repertoire. I recommend checking out Ecocity Builders’ tips for their      Zero Waste Challenge this July, which make the process much more conceivably achievable.  Also this awesome website.

One Person

Finally, if you are wondering whether one person matters, here are some figures: One person on average creates 4.40 lbs of waste / day [EPA]. One ton = 2000 lbs, so one person creates one ton of waste / 455 days. So every year and a third one person can save

  • One ton of paper recycle saves 17 trees [EPA].
  • One ton of plastic saves 16.3 barrels of oil [Stanford].
  • One ton of aluminum saves 4 tons of Bauxite Ore [MadeHow.com].
  • One ton of glass saves one ton of mixed limestone, soda ash and sand [EPA, Stanford].
  • Fun food calculator

Good luck forming habits to last a lifetime – and for generations to come.

– SustainableFarley @ gmail.com

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