Finding Myself

Finding oneself seems to imply we are lost  or at least not discovered. But we’re right here, impossibly hidden from our own existence.

My eyes scan my landscape less when I’m tired, distracted, or numbed. I search for myself least when I’m busy, chasing down checkboxes.

The world was spinning so quickly I had to ask it to stop. It obliged, begrudgingly.

Today I felt spaciousness in the space between seconds. I strolled through the corridors of my mind and looked through windows of who I could become.

Feeling found seems much like feeling full, full of knowing, feeling, and being all at once.

 

My First Go @ Cooperative Conscious Community

Since 2013 I have been trying to live in a co-op and in 2020 my dream FINALLY came true. While I’ve already been a part of a few conscious communities, actually living in a codependent community is a completely different experience and one I would highly recommend – here’s why:

Why live with six other people?

When I decided to officially move into the co-op the world felt like utter chaos. Think back to June 2020 when Black Lives Matter protests had just broken out across the country and COVID lockdown continued to drag on. I was hoping to find a community of folks, ideally older, who could help process the current events… Little did I know we still had an impending hellish fire season in California that September and an extremely stressful election that would end in an attempted coup.  I was so relieved when the community I found often discussed these issues, and we even took action together! Having a sounding board of peers with which to discuss current events over dinner kept me grounded in the moment, finding a sanity together amid the madness.

I was also excited to make new friends! I luckily ended up loving my housemates… even more after getting to know their quirks like how Blanchard is a caricature of himself who eats three bites of vanilla ice cream every night and how CN wears blankets as dresses while spouting profound inclusivity. While moving in with strangers is a strange way to make friends, it was an extremely effective way to get to know people really well.

The Hearth

The name of the co-op is The Hearth aka The Coaching House and it definitely lived up to the name of warmth and personal development. Here are a few lessons I’ve learned from this community:

CULTURE can be formed even amid a small group and can have a profound effect on your life.  As the coaches say, it can be the “water you’re swimming in” or the context you have to acknowledge, even if you don’t fully understand it. The culture of the Hearth is present, inquisitive, and caring. These characteristics have seeped into my being due to my experience here.

RITUALS are the underpinnings of a culture, the ways we put our ideals into practice. It seems like such a simple concept, but I didn’t fully appreciate rituals until practicing them with a group of committed people. For example, we had the ritual of eating dinner at 7pm together every evening which kept us connected and nourished. What rituals do you practice that help you embody your ideals?

SUPPORT can mean SO many things. I had not realized the water I was swimming in with the American ideal of “making it on your own”. The Hearth completely dismantled this structure of knowing whereby people asked for support from some of the bigger (like selling a car) to even the smaller (like making Spotify work well) life tasks. I had previously thought “you just get those things done yourself!” but the process of helping others opened up a new vulnerability for me to ask for support on random things. I would have never expected depending on others to feel so liberating.

CHORES are something everyone asks about regarding group living. They are a pain with a large group, obviously, but for me the philosophy that we are “hosting each other” was a really sweet way of thinking about it. So when I clean, I consider it “cleaning up for my guests” who are actually my housemates.

ABUNDANCE is aplenty from groceries to furniture to a lending hand. We have so much more when we live together, and while we give a little more we are rewarded with abundant appreciation in return as well, completing the cycle of abundance.

Update from 2022

I help co-create my own co-op with four friends! We enjoy a rich community and friend group, in part due to our stated shared purpose:
~ House Vision~
This house exists to enhance our personal and collective journeys with a diversity of experiences, communities, thoughts and actions.

~Guiding Vibes~

  • Chill but hype
  • We are on a vision quest, a journey together and welcome new experiences and people
  • We explore the new new, occasionally pushing ourselves and each other to the edge of our comfort zones
  • We create together
  • We include each other, but realize not everyone can do/ go to everything
  • We support each other to grow and make our individual growth happen
  • We aim to be our best selves and hold each other accountable in each other’s pursuit
  • We respect solo/recharge time
  • A lot of great things happens outside
  • We prioritize our relationships over arguments, knowing we enrich each other’s lives in many ways
  • We recognize we have abundance together
  • We savor it

-JB’s Yung Padawan

Coronavirus, Telework, and Our Future

COVID-19 is creating many new social and psychological experiences for our society…

In Anqing, China people are given tickets which allow them to leave their homes. Each household is only given one ticket every three days which allows one family member to run errands. My partner’s cousin CoCo, a government employee with legal matters in Anqing, has now become one of the ticket collectors and temperature monitors.

In Oakland, California while our jobs have not been entirely redefined (at least yet), the shelter in place order has required the majority of workers to work remotely. Incidentally, I wrote my UC Berkeley honors thesis about the social psychological experience of teleworkers back in 2015. Here is the abstract:

Abstract

This thesis analyzes the disparity between the number of jobs that are telework-compatible, or jobs that could be completed by employees primarily working from home via electronic devices, and the lack of more widespread telework adoption in the United States since the 1990’s. Results of this thesis indicate that telework adoption is not inhibited by technological capabilities, nor from a lack of demand from employees themselves. Moreover, teleworkers have a relatively positive social psychological work experience that enables greater work-life balance. The largest inhibitor of telework adoption is managerial resistance, though organizational theories suggest telework will be adopted to a greater extent. The interdisciplinary approach combining sociological, psychological, and organizational perspectives explains the significance of the current and future state of telework for employees, middle and top managers, voters, and legislators alike. This thesis also gives recommendations for future actions to be taken to implement telework to the desired extent.

This paper led me to the conclusion that telework wouldn’t be such a bad thing for people and would be a great thing for the environment. While Coronavirus has curtailed much more travel than simply working from home would reduce, the effects of less travel have already been striking – and visible. Air quality, water quality, increased fauna & flora and more. The water in the Venice canals is clear! Nasa images of NO2 density in China and elsewhere show major reductions from previous unsafe levels.

Here are the projected implications I considered and calculated (just from increased work from home in the US):

Implications

While originally seen as a solution to traffic congestion (Nilles, 1), telework as a sociological shift has implications on a global scale. I have categorized these extensive effects into three sections: environmental, structural, and social ramifications of telework. The statistics calculated by Telework Research Network reference the hypothetical situation if telework were adopted to the maximum desired extent possible. They found this figure by multiplying 40 percent of American workers in 2010, “the amount of workers who could work from home at least part of the time” by 79 percent, the percent of that population that would choose to telework “if given the opportunity” (Lister, 5). Environmentally, if telework were adopted to the maximum desired extent possible, green-house gas emission would be reduced by 28 million tons from office construction and 312 million tons from energy saved annually (Lister, 16). In addition, approximately 289 million barrels of oil, or 36.6 percent of oil imports to America from the Persian Gulf, would be saved annually (Lister, 16). This leads me to the structural implications of increased adoption of telework. With less need for oil, America would be positioned to decrease dependence on foreign entities and, in turn, decrease economic and political vulnerability (Lister and Harnish, 23). Also highlighted in the 2013 annual Status of Telework in the Federal Government Report to Congress, telework enables improved “emergency responsiveness” (1). Telework has literal structural effects such as making transportation infrastructure last longer and saving taxpayer dollars in the process (Lister and Harnish, 23). Socially, telework provides more job opportunities for people with disabilities (DiMartino and Wirth, 532). Telework can also assist rural development and spur economic activity (DiMartino and Wirth, 532). Additionally, since more than 25 percent of vehicle accidents occur during the commute to and from work, less commuters and more telecommuters would naturally mean fewer vehicle-related injuries and casualties (Lister, 16). While these are the primary effects mentioned across the literature, telework may have other unintended or unrealized implications as well.

One thing that a fellow climate organizer said that stuck with me was “We asked for this. We asked for something that would stop business as usual and benefit the climate.” I feel conflicted over this statement because on the one hand, this pandemic has affected everyone to at least one degree of separation, inciting fear and causing widespread death – much of which is sadly still to come. On the other hand, the global crisis of COVID-19 may offer a space for our society to grow and improve in so many ways…

We, humans,

  1. Tackle a global issue at the speed and scale necessary
  2. Realize our politicians don’t always take necessary preemptive action (Trump, Bloomberg) and that we need to demand it
  3. Embrace science, as it is the key to our survival
  4. Acknowledge how social we are and connect with one another

Source: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=3186441504702359&set=p.3186441504702359&type=3

We, as a society,

  1. Recognize the need for healthcare
  2. Redistribute wealth such that an economic downturn isn’t disastrous (Universal Basic Income!)
  3. Feel the importance of resilient, connected communities especially at a local level
  4. Respect each other with in times of crises
  5. Use opportunities of social upheaval to restructure ourselves for social, economic, and environmental justice
  6. Other implications? text me them!

I hope this post helps you reflect on our work, social and literal environments. May this new perspective (or perhaps a perspective you already had, but just written) help you view this pandemic as a catalyst for the much needed change and the long battle we’re going to have to fight for climate, green jobs, and justice.

-Nanmund

Hungry for more? Here is the full thesis. Below is a beautiful poem.

An Imagined Letter from Covid-19 to Humans (Kristin Flyntz)

Stop. Just stop.

It is no longer a request. It is a mandate.

We will help you.

We will bring the supersonic, high speed merry-go-round to a halt

We will stop

the planes

the trains

the schools

the malls

the meetings

the frenetic, furied rush of illusions and “obligations” that keep you from hearing our

single and shared beating heart,

the way we breathe together, in unison.

Our obligation is to each other,

As it has always been, even if, even though, you have forgotten.

We will interrupt this broadcast, the endless cacophonous broadcast of divisions and distractions,

to bring you this long-breaking news:

We are not well.

None of us; all of us are suffering.

Last year, the firestorms that scorched the lungs of the earth

did not give you pause.

Nor the typhoons in Africa,China, Japan.

Nor the fevered climates in Japan and India.

You have not been listening.

It is hard to listen when you are so busy all the time, hustling to uphold the comforts and conveniences that scaffold your lives.

But the foundation is giving way,

buckling under the weight of your needs and desires.

We will help you.

We will bring the firestorms to your body

We will bring the fever to your body

We will bring the burning, searing, and flooding to your lungs

that you might hear:

We are not well.

Despite what you might think or feel, we are not the enemy.

We are Messenger. We are Ally. We are a balancing force.

We are asking you:

To stop, to be still, to listen;

To move beyond your individual concerns and consider the concerns of all;

To be with your ignorance, to find your humility, to relinquish your thinking minds and travel deep into the mind of the heart;

To look up into the sky, streaked with fewer planes, and see it, to notice its condition: clear, smoky, smoggy, rainy? How much do you need it to be healthy so that you may also be healthy?

To look at a tree, and see it, to notice its condition: how does its health contribute to the health of the sky, to the air you need to be healthy?

To visit a river, and see it, to notice its condition: clear, clean, murky, polluted? How much do you need it to be healthy so that you may also be healthy? How does its health contribute to the health of the tree, who contributes to the health of the sky, so that you may also be healthy?

Many are afraid now.

Do not demonize your fear, and also, do not let it rule you. Instead, let it speak to you—in your stillness,

listen for its wisdom.

What might it be telling you about what is at work, at issue, at risk, beyond the threats of personal inconvenience and illness?

As the health of a tree, a river, the sky tells you about quality of your own health, what might the quality of your health tell you about the health of the rivers, the trees, the sky, and all of us who share this planet with you?

Stop.

Notice if you are resisting.

Notice what you are resisting.

Ask why.

Stop. Just stop.

Be still.

Listen.

Ask us what we might teach you about illness and healing, about what might be required so that all may be well.

We will help you, if you listen.

 

House Vision

Our cooperative housing group created a house vision. Here’s what our community identified as our reason for existing and desires for our community.

This house exists to enhance our personal and collective journeys with a diversity of experiences, communities, thoughts and actions.

~Guiding Vibes~

  • Chill but hype

  • We are on a vision quest, a journey together and welcome new experiences and people

  • We explore the new new, occasionally pushing ourselves and each other to the edge of our comfort zones

  • We create together

  • We include each other, but realize not everyone can do/ go to everything

  • We support each other to grow and make our individual growth happen

  • We aim to be our best selves and hold each other accountable in each other’s pursuit

  • We respect solo/recharge time

  • A lot of great things happens outside

  • We prioritize our relationships over arguments, knowing we enrich each other’s lives in many ways

  • We recognize we have abundance together

  • We savor it

What’s Wrong with the Water?

I started this post a year and a half ago, but today felt important to finish it since the news read: “Trump administration to roll back 2015 waterway pollution regulations” So this blog post is a tad cathartic for this devastating news and hopefully gives you tools to address this issue with me.

Hey question: Is water a human right?

Do we all deserve clean drinking water? Do we all deserve enough water to drink, bathe, and grow our own food?

If you think yes, then there’s a few things you should educate yourself on:

  1. Our farming practices – which industries take a disproportional amount of water (beef and almonds) I too am struggling with cutting out almonds
  2. Watershed and damming – dams are HIGHLY political. Cutting off natural waterways to siphon the water to other locations is NOT a good thing for natural ecosystems or those who would naturally get the water (likely YOU and your community)
  3. Environmental protection standards – Even though the EPA is rolling back on some laws, California may potentially pass laws that keep the previous national regulations in place in our state. I’m proud to be working on this at my job with 350 Bay Area. Subscribe to our newsletter here to get petitions like this sent to your inbox.
  4. The P word (P******) – the sooner we get over the fairy tale that scientists are going to find a solution to all of our plastic use, the faster we can fight this issue. The first step: TURN OFF THE TAP. We need to literally stop making it. Which is a two-step process: first stop using it. Then, support legislation that regulates it. Why? It’s expected in just a few decades there will be more plastic in the ocean than fish. Microplastics have even been found in 90% of all table salt – NatGeo. We also know that plastic affects our hormones and brain functioning. BPA-FREE DOESN’T MEAN SHIT. That is just one chemical in the MANY that has actually been tested and regulated in plastics. There are tons of new ones popping up all of the time that we haven’t fully investigated (and even harder – regulated).

The Hoax

The biggest hoax ever is bottled water. It is simultaneously ruining water and commodifying a free resource – or as I believe, a human right.

But unlike plastic straws, I don’t want to point the finger at just one little thing. There is so much to be done (starting with the four points above) and much much more.

In my opinion, there is a fundamental issue with how we value our resources. Watercoin, the cryptocurrency for water, is one example of how we could rethink our value-system and value water in a free market better.

Day Zero

April 16th, 2018 Johannesburg ran out of water. If you think their inalienable rights were violated that day, want justice, and don’t want this to be you, let’s do something. I know it seems so far away, and water is so global and unattainable (you literally can’t hold it), but there is plenty we can do locally.

What to do TODAY

Learning more about the topics mentioned above are a great start. But if you’re looking for a quick fix, here are some easy things you can do TODAY:

  1. Stop eating beef (A 1/3-pound burger requires 660 gallons of water) – For perspective, one person drinks about 180 gallons per year, so that is enough water for 3.5 people to drink for an entire year in just 1 burger
  2. Stop buying cotton products (One cotton t-shirt takes 713 gallons of water to make) Watch this short video about cotton by BBC
  3. Subscribe to environmental legislation updates
  4. Be Zero Waste – avoid plastic like the plague, don’t make trash (but veganism is more impactful than recycling tbh)
  5. Queue up the documentary Water & Power on Netflix
  6. Don’t buy Wonderful brand nuts
  7. Do something extra – my list is clearly not exhaustive. For example, Dasun is volunteering to research and code a watershed project that maps water distribution in CA. He found this cool opportunity on Volunteermatch.org – a great site to find roles that utilize your skills.

-Nanimal

What are the chances?

Literally what are the chances we are who we are?

Here’s an attempt at calculating my existence, privilege and choices to contextualize being one tiny person on this massive planet, and specifically what it means to be me.

Existence

  • To start off, it’s been said the chances that we are born into existence is 1 in 400 trillion
  • Americans are 4.27% of the world population
    • Californians make up 12% of the US population (or 0.51% of the world population)

Privilege

“Choices”

Takeaways

This isn’t to say I’m super special, especially because I only really “chose” two of the statistics (which are also likely correlated if not caused by a specific type of education). Moreover, these calculations further instilled the imperative I feel to use my advantages to benefit the world, aka the majority of people on the flip-side of all of these statistics. I plan to be more grateful to live in the beautiful state of California. I am also going to donate more money to global causes and use my education to solve global issues. I also vow to fly less and continue to purchase vegan products so that they may become more accessible.

Life’s a H*ke

Earlier today I went on a long hike by myself in Walnut Creek (Shell Ridge: Twin Ponds Loop  — highly recommend).

Left alone with my thoughts and sounds of nature I realized our life trajectories are very similar to the experience of a hike…

  • Childhood) Who suggested this hike? Why do we have to do it? The car ride there is cozy with calming music.
  • Teen years) You get out of the car still feeling lazy and see the first huge hill. It looks insurmountable and you have to psyche yourself up.
  • Twenties) You’ve made it up the first hill and now you can see the long winding trail ahead. It’s a little exciting and you are catching your breath but you don’t have a map and the terrain is still unfamiliar. You made it out of the bubble of your previous life and are ready to explore by yourself. You are high above the power lines now, the view is gorgeous and inspiring. You feel on top of the world. You’re more scared how you don’t see any bees than you are scared of a bee sting.
  • Thirties-Fifties) You are now in the swing of walking such that your legs keep moving without conscious effort. Your knees hurt but you’re cruizing on the path and it’s nice and sunny out. You hear a rare frog chorus but you’re also bummed you can’t listen to music on this long trek, win some lose some I guess.
  • Sixties-Eighties) You finally see the woodpecker you knew you heard earlier! Now your blisters actually hurt and that last leg of the trail was supposed to be .4 miles but is taking forever… you think back and wonder if you made a wrong turn. You made a little one, but it was inconsequential. Your phone is dying but your powering through so that you can text your partner that you finished safely and still have juice to navigate to the freeway entrance.
  • Eighties-Nineties) You made it back to your car with 2% phone battery to spare! You barely even feel like you hiked, it more just washed over you. You’re sitting in your cozy seat again headed home to reflect on your pictures, chill, and have a sweet night’s rest.

Life’s a h*ke n then you die so let’s not forget to scope those views proper.

<3 Nan

How To Be an Environmental Activist (or anything else you want to be)

This isn’t your normal How To Guide. I recently realized the exact same reasons I became vegan can apply to other big life decisions/ changes. So today I wanted to break it down again, using the same framework of ability (psychological, economic, and physical) – but this time applied to how to become an environmental activist professionally… or anything else you want to be.

Why  – Psychological Ability

     Denial

The first hurdle is denial. My brother George had a funny point that “No one knows what they are in denial about”.  So denial is a tricky thing. Many articles have come out stating that the new denial is not that climate change isn’t happening, it’s thinking what we’re doing is enough.

So how do you address what you’re avoiding and/or semi-intentional ignorance? Information in the age of information! I’m a practiced and published researcher and I took two months researching the most impactful job you can do… and it was environmental work across the board. The information is so abundant, compelling and moving you may just be inspired to work on climate solutions as well. Here are some sites worth bookmarking:

     Attribution

OK so maybe you aren’t in denial and you agree we need to do more BUT you attribute blame to larger organizations. To which I say, the entire system needs solutions and we need to be part of the solution at every level.

Governmental – Some people say this is the ONLY way. I don’t agree, but if you think governmental solutions and regulations are the most important why not try to professionally influence them? You don’t have to just be a lawyer; there are a ton of ways to do it. Otherwise, you can vote for green candidates, and be civically active.

Technology and other Eco-Friendly Options – again, tons of jobs in this! Some may say these will be the only jobs one day (especially with automation). Green technology, energy, food alternatives, transportation, city planning, ocean clean-up and more. You are skilled, and your skills would be highly valuable in AT LEAST one of these types of solutions.

Consumerism and Personal Choices – I’ve started to feel like people aren’t going to change unless the options don’t affect their lifestyle and moreover improve it (ex: fake meat has to be delicious, electric cars also have to be luxurious, etc.) so that is why CREATING the options is even more important than adopting them, because once we create our ideal society, adoption will naturally follow.

Volunteering – isn’t drastic enough frankly. This is an all-smart-hands-on-deck situation.

     My American Dream

Finally, similar to denial, we don’t want to accept that the baby-boomer notion of the American Dream is fucked. Yours, mine, and for generations to come. What good is a mansion that burns down or gets flooded? Sure maybe you can secure a nice little spot for yourself where you have a huge water supply, but how fun will that be when you don’t have a community to enjoy or even any animals around?

Think about this though: This upcoming March, 2019 KIDS are walking out of school for “Day Zero” to protest climate inaction by adults. They know their future is being robbed, and we too aren’t going to die before we see some pretty horrible shit.

Fortunately it is not too late to turn this around, and we can still have an American Dream, albeit different and more synchronous with the environment and arguably with each other, if we only dare to dream it and do it.

How  – Economic Ability

This is the most obvious hurdle to switching jobs. While some companies may have excellent promotional practices, it is widely acknowledged that the highest pay raises occur when you switch companies. One main reason is because your current employer will not give you a 20K raise, whereas you may get a new job offer that starts 20K higher.

Ok so we know it makes sense, but how do you do it? Two ways:

  1. Invest in yourself. Investments can be risky, but if you don’t know your value, others won’t either.
  2. Treat unemployment like a job. Apply to jobs rigorously and take time off. Spend 40 hours a week minimum if you are unemployed. Clock in if you need to (there are tons of timer apps – my favorite is Toggl).

When  – Physical Ability

When should we pursue such jobs? ASAP. Why? The IPCC gave us 12 years – generously. What if we were given a 12-year ticker to an atomic bomb? People would be freaking out. And climate change is worse, irreversible, and “bombing” the entire world simultaneously.

In Sum

All of the other reasons to do it will also follow as benefits. The ones I listed for veganism (that oddly apply here) are:

  • Sustainability – For your personal sustainability – the job market will go to shit with climate chaos anyway. Planet and human species sustainability would also be nice.
  • Animals (Unnecessary Suffering) – you will be working to PREEMTIVELY combat what is already becoming THE LARGEST contributor to human suffering (think: war, food production issues/famine, vector-borne diseases, water-borne diseases, heat-related illnesses, and more. I’m not exaggerating, look. it. up.)
  • Net sum (Positive) – you get to wake up every day feeling happy about what you do (yay)! We Americans are huge emmissions creators, so might as well mitigate your own carbon footprint at the very least.
  • Health – the health effects from inhaling fine particulates (from fires) alone are: lung cancer, stroke, dementia, type two diabetes, and heart disease.
  • Independence – you know you can get any job you want, and you choose to make a difference. You are not beholden to money as the primary motivator. Why else would you work your shitty corporate job with coworkers who lack empathy in an industry that exploits Earth’s resources and workers along the production line? It doesn’t have to be that way.

As always, I’m happy to read cover letters and help you get dat new new enviro job.

out

 

 

-Nanarchy

20-Something in 2018

Here are the goals of a 20-something, yours truly, in 2018:

– Updates from 2019 in bold – Yes did it! (Y), Kinda (K), Not even close (N)

  1. Read 60 books (the CEO annual average) – (K) I think I got through about half, but hey still the most I’ve ever read for fun in one year
  2. Meditate daily / complete a multiple-hour meditation session – (N) but I aim to meditate every even day of 2019 and am on track as of today, 1/2/19.
  3. Create more content / move from early adopter to innovator – (K) helpful that my job does this, but I would like to be more creative just for fun.
  4. Take the GRE – (N) not even sure why I want to do it yet, working not to get caught in a rat race for no reason .
  5. Test every sense in a new way / try to discover my spidey-sense – (Y) I felt the softest beat leaf, rode roller skates on buttery sidewalk, tasted very different dank Chinese food in China, harnessed wind while kiteboarding, saw amazing visuals and movies, listened to more house music than ever before, and smelled chocolate surrounding my essence. Spidey sense may be predicting what will happen in movies?
  6.  Run a race / Break a personal physical record – (Y!) Yosemite half marathon biotch 2hr4min.
  7.  Vote vegan with my dollar – (Y) While this wasn’t my MOST vegan year, it was likely more than 90% of what I ate and 99% of what I bought.
  8. Reverse psych someone into a positive mindset – (Y/N) I get volunteers excited about my non-profit work all of the time, but was very sad to fail when it came to my employee this year.
  9. Make a new bff – (Y!) Hannah, Rachel, Lindsay, Autumn, Lizzy, Angelina (always friends but consider them more besties now), Sara Whitney (brand spankin new), Michele and Savannah (bestie neighbors rock), Lastly new festie fam: Lauren, Stephen, Dmac, Olivia, Emily, Maude <3
  10. Admit when I don’t know things (and learn more in the process) – (Meh) Still working on this one, succeeding a little.
  11. Read mixed media / try to understand other viewpoints better – (Y) Just started reading Knowhere News, thanks Miles!
  12. Foster a skill (maybe swimming) – (Y) I did Lyra, swam, took Chinese classes, and took ukulele classes. 2019 I’d like to hone in a little better.
  13. Be more genuine (not just nice) – (K)
  14. Ride my bike – (Y) But then everyone fucking copied my lime green helmet, you know which one I’m talking about..
  15. Ask thoughtful questions / eliminate filler words – (K) My brother suggested looking up interview questions, definitely going to do that.
  16. Text ppl back within 2 days – (K) Been a lot better than usual. Kristina said “Friendship is half about the effort you put in” and that really stuck with me.
  17. Throw an epic parT – (Y!!) My 25th bday happening in parT minus 3 days.
  18. Use social media less – (N) At least it’s trackable on the iPhone now.
  19. Cook dinner with friends more – (Y) Never done so much Friendsgiving. Heart is still full and so is my stomach two months later.
  20. Go on a romantic trip with Dasun– (Y!) Maui babii

I would have never thought I would complete so many! Highly recommend writing your list down and be a self-fulfilling prophecy. : )

 

Here are the goals of a 20-something, yours truly, in 2019:

  1. Read 60 books
  2. Meditate every even day/ Actively reduce stress
  3. Delete Facebook garrrr
  4. Do handstands on poles
  5. Foster a skill fo real – pick one and stick with it
  6. Be creative AF
  7. Read more mixed media and practice talking to people with different views
  8. Save mo $
  9. Sit with good posture

More Than Capitalist Fulfillment

The other day I was thinking: what would make me feel fulfilled? I considered a few hobbies I could pick up, did a random craft, requested new books from the library, watched a TED talk and called it a night. In my search for fulfillment I took actions, but only recently evaluated their roles in reaching a more realized state…

  • The definition of fulfilled is “satisfied or happy because of fully developing one’s abilities or character”
  • Maslow defines self-actualization as “the desire for self-fulfillment”

I posit that our conception of fulfillment, which we intend to mean filling a need of the highest order (self-actualization), is tainted with capitalist notions in a few ways.

  1. We incorrectly conceive our internal happiness with ourselves as a state within our consumer system, as opposed to happiness from within ourselves. This change in framing turns the dialogue inwards and makes it evidently more clear that no product can complete your soul search.
  2. The idea that fulfillment must constantly be sought is a myth. In my experience, once I feel fulfilled it has a lingering aura. We don’t need to immediately begin searching for the next source of fulfillment… unlike the capitalist system ever begging for more. Being happy with our progress is a critical moment of processing – one that I often forget.
  3. Fulfilling activities don’t necessarily contribute to financial wealth. I’m the type of person to fall into this trap too often. I enjoy being busy and doing things with “purpose” – such as for a job. However, investing in activities that don’t serve a tangible purpose (reading fiction, playing outside) are still valuable – just for non-monetized abilities and character traits.

The fat joke is that fulfillment doesn’t come from consumption nor does it need to be constantly consumed.

I don’t just want to feel satiated and placated – a capitalist fulfillment. I want to happy about the development of my character, which may require less of a happy mood and more of a critical eye and accepting heart.

-Nanarchy

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